True friends are precious resources. Much has been written about the significant differences between the numerous acquaintances we accumulate and the often limited genuine friends we can cherish. Summer sometimes offers the best opportunities to spend time with friends who have deeply affected our lives. Whether such friends are still living “back home” far away or live around the corner, taking time to remember stories and share visions of living in the deep joy of our micro-community with special friends is vitally important.
I wish that the Bible had more to say about the friendship between David and Jonathan. What we know of their relationship as best friends is found in 1 Samuel 17-23. It was a friendship severely tested by war, family jealousy, and ambition, yet the deep bond between them endured.
David, you may recall, was the youngest of eleven brothers. He seems to have been treated by his brothers – and sometimes by his father, Jesse – as the “runt of the litter.” In 1 Samuel 16, when the prophet Samuel is reviewing Jesse’s sons looking for the one God will direct him to anoint as the future king of Israel, Jesse presents sons 1-10 and only calls David in from the pasture at Samuel’s insistence. When David takes provisions to his brothers who are serving in Saul’s army he gets the brush-off often given little brothers or sisters: “When David’s oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. ‘What are you doing around here anyway?’ he demanded. ‘What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and dishonesty. You just want to see the battle!’ {29} ‘What have I done now?’ David replied. ‘I was only asking a question!’” (1 Samuel 17:28-29 NLT)
The connection between friends David and Jonathan is different right from the start. After David finished off Goliath and gave Saul victory over the Philistines everyone in the camp of Saul’s army learned quickly who David was. Saul met with David after the military rout, learning about David’s family. Then we hear about David and Jonathan becoming immediate best friends: “David finished talking to Saul. After that, Jonathan became David’s closest friend. He loved David as much as
As David became increasingly famous and favored by the people of Israel Saul’s jealousy boiled. Numerous times Saul tried to kill David, hoping to eliminate David’s threat to his political power and dynasty. In spite of dangerous palace intrigue, continued warfare in the region, and long separations by distance and life circumstances, the friendship between David and Jonathan remained strong. Even when Saul’s pursuit and attempts to kill David became intense Jonathan found a way to engineer a reunion and to keep their friendship vital: “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. {17} ‘Don’t be afraid,’ Jonathan reassured him. ‘My father will never find you! You are going to be the king of Israel, and I will be next to you, as my father is well aware.’” (1 Samuel 23:16-17 NLT) Tragically, not long after this meeting Jonathan and his brothers were killed along with their father, Saul, in the protracted war with the Philistines.
Everyone needs a friendship like that between Jonathan and David. From the first moment they recognized that they were kindred spirits. Apparently they spent time together hunting, singing, playing, laughing, and crying. They protected each other. They risked their own welfare for one another. Again and again, they told each other how important their friendship was to each of them. In spite of obstacles that must have seemed insurmountable their loving friendship continued to thrive and to provide them with comfort and support. Everyone needs that kind of friendship.
Travels this summer may take you back to the place where you grew up, a place where friends from long ago still live. You may have a reunion – high school, college, work, church, or some special social group – on your schedule. Perhaps your time will be spent with family who also may be some of your best friends. How are those relationships holding up? How much energy do you put into keeping friendships deep and vital? Think about a special friend with whom you have shared unique bonds of laughter, fun, encouragement, support, and who knows the stories few others know. Where is that person now, and when was the last time you laughed or cried with your friend?
I wonder if Solomon was influenced by stories his father, David, told about his dear friend, Jonathan, when Solomon wrote: “A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble.” (Proverbs 17:17 NCV) Or, did stories of David’s so-called friends’ deceptions and Jonathan’s constant loyalty prompt Solomon to write: “Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family.” (Proverbs 18:24 GWT) The Bible is clear that a true friend shares deeply with another, helping life to achieve full meaning.
Thinking of the bond we share with special friends, how do our bonds of relationship with God compare? God’s desire is to count us as friends. Assessing Abraham’s faithful belief and action James says: “‘Abraham believed God, and God accepted Abraham’s faith, and that faith made him right with God.’ And Abraham was called God’s friend.” (James 2:23 NCV) Jesus explicitly stated the basis for the deep bond between himself and us: “I don’t call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. But I’ve called you friends because I’ve made known to you everything that I’ve heard from my Father. {16} You didn’t choose me, but I chose you. I have appointed you to go, to produce fruit that will last, and to ask the Father in my name to give you whatever you ask for. {17} Love each other. This is what I’m commanding you to do.” (John 15:15-17 GWT)
As you reflect on dear friends this summer, think also of what kind of friend you are to Jesus. Do you spend time with him? Do you pour your most intimate joys and sorrows out in conversation with Jesus? By your loyal faith, are you a candidate to be called God’s friend?
A chorus of What a Friend We Have in Jesus, anyone?
- J. Edward Culpepper
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